Calm Before the Storm

Part of being a mother comes with self love. Yesterday I watched a video about not spanking your children & I have today that it opened my heart & mind. Becoming a mom has been challenging for one of two reasons. When I got pregnant with Tayson it wasn't really a happy phone call to my parents telling them I found the one I love & I am having a baby with him. It was disappointing to quit a few members in my family. Second, Tayson was a couple seconds away from being adopted because of what people where telling me & I almost didn't believe in myself & lastly I've been fighting to prove everyone wrong that I can & am a good mother & they where wrong what they have said about Kade & I.
You see I was so worried about all of this I forgot the most important aspect their is to being a mother which is self love. If I had more self love & more of a soft heart instead of being so defensive & building up my walls & worrying what the whole world thinks of me, I would have been more successful in being kind & soft spoken.
To say the least, I do not believe in spanking. I do not believe in raising my voice, I do not believe in cruelty punishments. I will simply love with all things.
This will definitely not be a walk in the park, I know it won't! I am not patient & I like to say things only once. Hence, I am practicing on my yelling with Kade, ha.
I feel if I call the storm, then it will calm my peers storm. Being a mother has been so challenging but her so rewarding to know Tayson has so much love for me, to know he has loved me his whole life & despite the very short amount of time he has had here on this earth, I will never let another memory of his leave him with stories of spnakings or times I yelled at him. I will always be soft & kind. Period.

SV RECAP

HELLO THERE, LONG TIME NO POST! Tay & I just got back from a week Vacation in SunValley & to say the least, it was such a fun little Vacation. I loved the fact that my mom finally, got some one on one time with Tay, hence, the last time she got one on one was when Tay was a new born. SV is not my ultimate favorite places to be but one of the happiest places to be. It is so dreamy, it takes your breath away & gives you a little peace of mind, it almost makes you whole & ready to face reality again.

On the first day we played at the park, then the boys went streaking in the splash pad to cool off. After we let the little boys play then went to a mini bike jump place (whatever its called). I tried going on all the big stuff & i crashed & burned. 

This was after the splash pad. He would always snuggle up next to me & say Cold Mom Cold.

Tay would just watch as we rode across the jumps on our bikes. Always getting in the way... Oh well.. I am happy he had fun getting dirty.

I loves this little stream by the Condo! Austin & I would always play in it when we were little. You could never tell NOW but my brothers where my biggest fans when i was little they adored me, those were the days 

The pools here are so dreamy. One of my favorite pools was at the lodge. They just built it. Tay loves his new life jacket that MiMi (grandma micci) bought him. He definitely didn't like to be near me in the pool so i had to force this pic on him. Ha.

This was Hemming way memorial! This view was something. What a beautiful memorial at that. I am pretty sure if my Nana were alive she would make us bike all the way to the mountain, then back to the memorial to stop,then all the way home & down for lunch. Luckily my momma is a nice lady & only took us a little past the hemming way memorial, stopped took some pics, then off we went to eat lunch.

We made sandwiches most of the time & we would stop in the middle of our bike ride then head home for the pool.

This pic, it was hilarious. HE saw a boy jump in the pool. Then all the sudden he dived in right after him. Stupid mom took off his life jacket. But luckily i was there. SO nothing bad happened. But it reminded me of when i was little & my dad got me all dressed & ready to go, then we walked back to the pool to get the boys & i hopped back into the pool again! My dad had to save me & jump in the pool with his clothes on. Ha. 

I have known these girls all my life. Literally So to be with them this trip was so fun. We loved being with our moms & our babies. Cheers to forever SunValley. 

Tay & his snacks. It was important to have these every time we went to the pool! Snacks are first on the priority list to bring at the pool.  

Oh my heart. He loved throwing rocks in the river & getting dirty. Almost every little boys dreams. I should of just let him stay there forever. He would never get sick of this. 

Firs time EVER eating spaghetti with out me helping. It was a mess. I really could car less. As long as he was enjoying it & not all of it was on the ground, or the chairs or the walls. As long as he was happy to eat it, i was happy to let him

Some of the girls had to leave early. Thus leaving the mommas and the babies. So we went on a little hike. We didn't go far. But it was so gorgeous & so peaceful. I guess i can say being on this trip i found that i love my Girl Trips & tagging Tay long every where i went <3 

Wild Dreams

Shoot me because i have a craving to achieve some dreams. You know that kind of feeling when you think life is going to be beautiful & the rain is not going to pour on you anymore with this gray cloud standing over your head all of the time. Well, that is definitely my feeling.

I have a desperate need for changing for the good. Not like go on the internet buy some stuff to help you change but some seriously self change that takes self action to find some inner peace. Not changing who i am but a change to be a happier person. I got a big head with lots of wild dreams. Ill make sure i will conquer them. 

What the Birds?!

Thanks to my mother in law, i got to go to the Aviary Museum today. My mom will always tell me she took me to these places but i really only went to a few things. For the rest of child hood phase it was watching my brothers playing sports & living the life in the car seat (No Offense Mom)<-- she  had 5 kids & I was the baby. But it was so fun to actually go to one of these bird things with my little babe. He wasn't even in his stroller half of the time & I still had a fun time watching him run around with his Uncle Noah. Trying to keep up with the big kids. It was fun to just let him explore outside and to see him play. Plus, we weren't stuck inside all day. So it was an adventure for the both of us.
Also, my poor little babe got the red cheeks from being to hot, not from being sun burnt. Poor thing. Wish you had your dads skin & not mine. Wouldn't wish that on anybody!
It makes me happy when i can be a good mom for Tay & to see him having fun with the heat over taking him & blushed cheeks, running around so much, always coming back for some water. Just watching him explore makes my heart happy. It was a mile stone for the both of us. One mile stone that i know for sure i can take him places & be okay with it. Another mile stone because i got out an did it with out a complaint.  Cheers to the both of us Tay.
P.S. My favorite birds where the flamingo...... I loved every bit of how awkward they were.

You are not a wuss

Okay, so what?! I am bragging about being able to wake surf..... I am seriously so proud of that moment.
It takes me forever to learn something & then when i actually get it the feeling is indescribable. In that moment i feel like i am capable of anything. You know those feelings like, "nothing can stop you" & all you want to do is to get up on that board and surf the wake. Well, that  was it for me.
It took me try after try after try.  Our minds are so powerful. Every time i fell, i would always get upset with myself & compare myself to my brothers  "why is it me that sucks", "i am such a loser compared to them," throwing myself a pity party. This took me 3 days of boating. On our last day of boating, i contemplated about getting back on the surf on the last day. I didn't want to keep falling & I was letting my ignorance get in the way. Saying mean things to myself "I am never going to get up with out the rope," "whats the point it is our last day here out on the water," "i probably wont go boating until next season," "My husbands not even here to cheer me on,""the water is freezing, I am warm".
Now i am going to stop right there. BECAUSE, when my mom asked me if i wanted to surf i said; "no". Then, after watching Jamie go & seeing her do it with no problem kind of made me a little jealous of her. Then it clicked, i got my big girl panties on & hustled. To say the least she encouraged me to get back out there. I changed my mind set & told myself i am being ridiculous get your ass in the water, you grew up with four brothers & a boat. Prove to yourself you are just as good if not better.
Then when i got back out on the board. I listened carefully to my coaches (Zeke, Conner) shouting at me from the boat. Shouting so i can hear what they are saying, working on getting the perfect wave & watching. In the midst of things, me, watching Tayson from the boat while my mom was holding him thinking to myself I am going to ride this surf with out the rope, I know i can do this, i will not fail in front of my boy & sure enough i got up.
I love this story for my blog because i want you to know that i always tend to look at everyone else, yes i admit i have a lot of comparisons, & hope that i can be just as brave & just as perfect. .
Here is the thing we don't tell ourselves. Maybe it took them ten billion times to fall, maybe it didn't. We all have different Talents & we all are better at one thing or another. But if we try then we can practice & learn to love new hobbies or talents in life & we can explore a little more.  In the whole scheme of things, be kind to yourself. You deserve a positive mind to keep you moving forward, to keep going at life. You deserve a Happy Life. So whenever you come upon something new, do me a favor & always say kind words while you are trying.

Bringing Home The Bacon

Finding apart of myself is seeing what i can do. Ways i can bring home the bacon.  You see i have always had to rely on people to help me. I would call up my dad, my mom, my brothers pretty much anybody i knew to give a couple words of wisdom or two. But something deep inside of me needed to listen to my gut for once.

I have always wanted to be an independent person. I felt like i have been coddled a ton & could never really get my feet on the ground. Always scared to figure out if i was going to make it & get my life together. All i knew is that i am not happy with making it by from pay check to pay check. 

A couple weeks ago i made the decision to be an "Independent Distributor" with "It Works, Global". I can't tell you the excitement i have to work with this company & to see the growth  i will be experiencing these next couple of days/months ahead. I can finally work at home, to a company i will pour my heart & soul into. 

It works has products (duh). It has fitness products, hair, skin & nail products, even Energy Drinks. Also you can have a career from home & create something special by helping others be successful. 

Now, i can only imagine what you critics are thinking,

 -LAUREN, ITS AN MLM WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ?! 

This is what my vision is & this is what i see & hope for. I see myself living a life where i can give my boys everything and anything. I don't see a get rich quick scheme. I see myself constantly working for my family. I simply see myself bringing home a little bit of extra bacon. I see myself as an example to Tayson to follow his dreams & to be successful in what ever situation he comes to. I see myself working towards a goal that will not knock your socks off. 

I love being a mom, I love that i am apart of this company & folks this is only the beginning of my, "It Works", journey.  

Like A Lady

Obviously i suck at doing my hair. I was never really good at it since i grew up with four brothers, hence, tom boy. My mom didn't know how to french braid hair, either. When i would want my hair done that way, I would turn my sister-in- law jamie & make her do my hair for the day. So, now i am taking it in my own hands. Since most of the summer we  will be doing activities outside, I will want my hair out of my face. It brought the idea of becoming better doing my hair. Wanting it a little prettier than living  a "top knot" life. I promise, i will get better at this and you won't see a big fluff on top of my head. I will not be lazy with my hair. I will have to repeat this statement in my head over & over again.

Another reason why i have it as one of my goals this summer is because i always want to look attractive for my boo. When i walk around with a top knot on my hair, i don't think i look very attractive. The every day style gets old. So i thought this would spice things up a little if i learned how to do my hair like a lady.

P.S. This took me a lot of attempts, Ha.